Whether you engage in one-to-one mentoring, reverse mentoring or have a mentoring network, it all comes down to one thing: building good relationships.
Why do people seek out mentors in the first place? Mentors can be a great way to learn a new skill or modify behavior, and safely make mistakes in the process. And who doesn’t need that at some stage of their career? Whether you’re just starting out and want to learn a business or are in a senior role and want to learn a new skill, mentoring can be highly beneficial. So now that you’ve decided you need a mentor, here are five steps to making sure you find the right one.
Be Clear on Your Goals
It’s important that you’re clear, certainly in your own mind, as to what you hope a relationship with a mentor can deliver for you. You need to set clear goals and lay that out as you approach a potential mentor. After all, you’re going to need to sell them on the idea of accepting you, and it’s going to take their time, effort, brainpower and energy on their part to do that. Think about what is it you want to learn and start developing your goals there. The more specific your request, the more likely you’ll get a positive response. For example, “I’d like to meet with you once a week to learn how to improve my social media presence” or “I’d like to meet with you once a month to explore how best to navigate my 5-10 year career experience, with a view toward maximizing that wherever and whenever possible. I’m interested your expertise and guidance to help steer me in the right direction.”
Once you’ve got a list of goals, you can then approach your prospective mentors with those goals clearly articulated, as well as how much time you would like from them on a monthly (weekly, etc.,) basis and you’ll be in a better position to attract the right mentors to meet your goals.
Decide Where to Find a Mentor
Once you’ve identified what you hope to gain as a result of a mentorship, then make a list of people you know who demonstrate the knowledge, skill or expertise that will help you reach those goals. Potential mentors can come from within your organization, but they don’t have to. If they are in your organization, focus on someone who is not in your direct line of report (up or down). The relationship shouldn’t carry a sense of responsibility apart from the specific issues you’re targeting for change. Consider leaders in a different business unit or part of the company. Another great source of mentors is professional organizations that relate to your field. This is also where social networks can come into play, because you don’t necessarily have to be in the same physical location as a mentor, and you can build great relationships with industry professionals through social media channels.
Ready, Set, Start the Relationship
Once you find someone who may be a fit, start working to develop a relationship with them. Obviously, that’s fairly easy to accomplish if your prospective mentor is someone from within your organization, but remember, that’s not a requirement. Attend industry-specific networking meetings, join groups or organizations related to your field and participate in social media networks that are industry-specific. LinkedIn will probably be especially valuable on this front, so actively build your connection base and check LinkedIn profiles for people in your network that have the skill sets you’re looking to develop and/or fine-tune — and connect with them!
Don’t Have Tunnel Vision
While it’s great to have a one-to-one relationship with a mentor, it’s not necessary to limit yourself to a one-on-one relationship with just one mentor. Consider developing a team of mentors, all with different interests and skill sets and methods of doing things — imagine the things you could potentially learn to much as a result! Using this strategy, you don’t have to rely too heavily on one person to give you all the guidance you need, which is a time-saver for them and which gives you more exposure to great thinking. Having a collection of mentors with a wide range of expertise can help position you for maximium benefit from all of those relationships.
Make an Agreement and Stay Committed
Once you find a mentor or mentors willing to work with you, create a mentoring agreement. This can be formal (in writing) or more informal, taking the form of a discussion in which you agree on goals, discuss how often and when you’ll meet, what each of your responsibilities are in the relationship, etc. It’s also important to understand that mentors are busy people and that it’s up to the person seeking mentoring (often called the protégé), to take responsibility for the process. Mentors are guides, not teachers; they aren’t there to provide discipline. But they can help you with accountability, provided you drive the process.
Keep in mind that great relationships don’t happen overnight, and there’s not an “easy button” to making them happen — and the same is true of relationships with potential mentors. They take a commitment to networking and a commitment to learning, as well as a serious investment of time spent getting to know one another.
When you get down to it, finding career mentors requires the same tenacity and communication skills as networking does, and there are great benefits for those who make the time to do it. While to some that’s a daunting prospect, it comes down to being good at asking questions, listening and learning. It’s all about the power of relationships. What do you think? Has there been a great mentor (or more) in your life? What tips do you have on developing relationships with mentors? We’d love to hear them.
Sue Maden is Education & Training Manager for Burns & McDonnell. She oversees Burns & McDonnell University, providing professional growth and development to move employees’ careers forward. Sue creates resources for instructors to improve the course development process, simplifies access to learning for employees and looks for ways to increase benefits of collaboration and informal learning at Burns & McDonnell.
Other resources on this topic:
Forbes: Here’s How Reverse Mentoring Work for Me
Wall Street Journal: How to be a Smart Protégé
Three Networking Tips to Help Build Relationships
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